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H.B.
                          Koplowitz
"Lost in Cyberspace" by H.B. Koplowitz began as a collection of columns written for a Los Angeles weekly between 1997 and 2001. The newspaper wanted me to write website reviews, but I turned the column into rants and ruminations on cyberspace, pop culture and current events. Many of the cited websites have moved, gone out of existence or turned into something else, so there's no telling where the links might lead, if anywhere. But the columns catch a moment in time when the Internet was new and a Wild West ethos prevailed. "Lost in Cyberspace" ventures into strange online museums, Tonya Harding Web sites, stick figure snuff flicks, Sea-Monkeys, fan fiction, cybersex, anti-globalization and MORE. Recently I began posting some of my other writings as well. Enjoy.

Carbondale Before Dark
Prequel to
Carbondale After Dark'
The stump of an oak tree in a parking lot on the campus of Southern Illinois University in Carbondale, Illinois, is the last vestige of the front yard of the home I grew up in from 1952, when I was in diapers, to 1964, when I was entering puberty.
Racial Baggage
Prequel to
'Blackspanic College'
Like a lot of people, I lug around a certain amount of racial baggage as a result of my previous interactions with people of other ethnic groups.
Pot Initiative
The fear isn't that marijuana is a gateway drug to harder stuff, but that it's a gateway to hippiedom.
Victory Mosque
A multicultural coalition should rise up in support of the Islamic Center in New York City. There ought to be a million Muslim march, with everyone wearing ribbons saying, 'we are all Muslims.'
Non-Starters
What is common to America's healthcare crisis and the crisis in the Middle East is that the most elegant solutions are considered "non-starters."
Revolution Iran Redux
It's possible Iranians will get their revolution right this time. But with half the population under 30, let's hope they don't get fooled again.
Honkeyphobia
A stupid encounter between a black Harvard professor and a white Cambridge police sergeant may have shined a light on a  common but rarely discussed phenomenon -- honkeyphobia.
Afrophobia
Let's not beat around the bush. We are talking about white people who have an irrational fear of black people.
Oybama
Dear Mom and Dad, I really wouldn't vote for Hitler, as you suggested, when I suggested you cut Barack Obama some slack for the comments his pastor made, and for Obama's subsequent speech on race.
Spunky Sarah
One thing that cannot be said about Sarah Palin is that she lacks spunk, although people who love to hate her might turn that statement into a sleazy punchline.
Hangin' with the Dormies
If it weren't for young people willing to be called traitors and hippie scum for standing up for their beliefs, we might still be in Vietnam.
Have a Kosher Christmas
How did it come to pass that instead of putting Christ back into Christmas, they put in Jews?
Bob Dylan & Paul Simon:
Slip Slidin' Away
Thirty-two years after the "Summer of Love," the two greatest folk rock composers of the 1960s, Bob Dylan and Paul Simon, teamed up for a concert tour. Attention must be paid.
Eminem: Menace or Minstrel?
Fans and non-fans alike tuned in Grammy night 2002 to watch the much-hyped duet between gay icon Elton John and gay basher Eminem.
Frank Sinatra Online
Before punching out paparazzi became fashionable, there was Frank Sinatra. The Chairman of the Board died May 14, 1998, but his pugnacious spirit lives online.
Stick Figure Snuff Flicks
No plot, no moral, no redeeming social value. Just pure, unadulterated violence...
Fanfic Online
With Congress wanting to stomp out sex and violence in Hollywood, what are those who want MORE sex and violence to do?
Snacks Online
Why do snack crackers and potato chips come in as many flavors as mutual funds? For snackaholics who think salt is a sugar substitute, inquiring minds want to know.
Strange Museums Online
People will collect anything. Anything. Beer cans, sugar packs, navel lint...
Useless Information Superhighway
The Internet is called the information superhighway. But there's also a lot of useless information online. And proud of it!
Tonya Harding Online
Harding's virtual life is as checkered as her real one. Scores of websites have stills from her infamous wedding night video, along with fake Harding porn photos.
Wen Ho Lee Online
The Wen Ho Lee spy caper has been compared to McCarthyism, the Dreyfus affair and Richard Jewell, but itís also a little like Monicagate.
Pot Online
Potheads are euphoric over a new federal study that finds marijuana may have medical benefits. Read all about it and the movement to reform marijuana laws.
Hypocrisy Online
I started out to write this rant defending the compassionate conservative governor of Texas, George W. Bush, saying he shouldn't have to answer whether he ever did cocaine...
Globaphobia
When did I get so out of touch with the revolution that I don't know the difference between the World Bank and the World Trade Organization, much less the groups that make up the anti-globalization movement?
Cyber Kosovo
While the media obsessed over Monicagate, the Yugoslav province of Kosovo became the latest Balkan entity to undergo a form of genocide peculiar to Eastern Europe known as ethnic cleansing.
Kurds Online
Sometimes history reads like an endless game of musical chairs in which those who don't get a seat use terrorism to unseat those who do, and those with the chairs threaten to exterminate those without unless they give up their culture, language and/or religion.
Politics Online
As a lefty used to voting for the lesser of two evils, which usually means Democrats like Al Gore, if the election were held today, I'd have to vote for Republican George W. Bush.
Black Power Online
Stokely Carmichael was bad. Along with H. Rap Brown, he led the militant "black power" wing of the 60's civil rights movement, scaring the bejesus out of white folks and making the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. seem moderate.
Gnutella
An epic battle is brewing in cyberspace. David versus Goliath. E-commerce versus free-commerce. And giant industries versus precocious geeks from Generation Next.
Stanley Kubrick Online
To state that Stanley Kubrick's final film, "Eyes Wide Shut," was controversial, would merely be redundant. Over 40 years and 13 films, "Kubrick movie" became synonymous with controversy.
Starship Titanic
"I'd rather sleep between the cheeks of a yak's buttocks." So saith Marsinta Drewbish, the cheeky DeskBot on the "Starship Titanic," a stylish CD-ROM game by "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" author Douglas Adams.
Godzilla Online
India set off five atom bomb tests in 1998, just as Sony's movie about a monster spawned by nuclear fallout was coming to a theater near you.
'You've Got Spam'
The Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan 1998 romantic comedy 'You've Got Mail' is not exactly your typical cyber affair. Here's a reality check.
'Big Brother' Online
Recently I got addicted to the live 24/7 Webcast of the TV show 'Big Brother.' I wouldn't have gotten hooked except for Brittany, the Monica Lewinsky of cyberspace.
Big Brother: George, Brittany, and the Sex Police
Dear Rockford, Illinois: On behalf of Recovering Voyeurs Anonymous, thank you for delivering us from Brittany, the Monica Lewinsky of cyberspace. 
Reality Olympics
What if the media packaged the Olympics like a reality TV show. One Olympic village, thousands of athletes, no privacy and daily challenges in which everyone but the top three got banished...
PCTV
Seeking to protect your family from the corrupting influence of the boob tube? "The "Parents Television Council" wants to help you practice safe TV viewing.
Digital Books
There's good news for trees. While the music industry tries to block the digitization of music, the publishing industry is quietly gearing up for paperless digital books.
Cosmetics Online
Going to cosmetic counters and applying colors and scents is to a certain retro femdom what going to a sports bar and watching football is to a lot of men.
Internet World 2000
As the stock market did a dot-com death spiral, geeks were partying in Tinsel Town during the Spring Internet World 2000 trade show.
Google
As the World Wide Haystack grows from millions to billions of Web sites, different search portals find wildly different needles. I could split more metaphors, but to cut to the bottom line, there are search engines and then there's Google.
Napster, Part 1
The music industry, as we know it, is dead. For I have seen the future and it is Napster, the first killer computer application of the new millennium. 
Napster, Part 2
The more I probed Napster, the more amazed I became by the quality and diversity of ripped recordings already available in MP3, and not just '60s rock and heavy metal.
Napster-BMG
As Napster makes its way into a market economy, music lovers and the music business alike are in for some shock therapy.
Cookiegate!
Privacy advocates asked Congress to investigate a "cookie" found on a Web site funded by the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy. Here's why.
Cookie Monster
Children shouldn't accept candy from strangers. So why let your computer accept "cookies" from strangers when you're online?
Anarchy Online
The mayor of Los Angeles has declared war on international anarchy.
Interspecies Cyberchat Cyberdildonics Viagra Online
E-commerce Millenium Madness TEOLAWKI
Cybersex Dead Comics Online
Cheap Upgrades
Haiku Schmaiku Free Computers? Cyber Hoax
Instant Mess Search Engines Dylan & Simon Online
Cyber Sea-Monkeys Columbine Online Online Diaries
(Bob) Hope is Alive
Virtual Workout Love Online
Cyber 'South Park'
The Mouse that Roared Cyber Furby
Reservations Online Pamela Anderson Online Microsoft: Cyber Trial of the Century
Cyber Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky Madness Mac Virus Alert
Homework Online Cyber Gay iMac Sucks
Cyber Kvetch Infidelity Online Y2K
Internet World Lights, Camera, Auction Lost in Cyberspace 1997 Archives
Blackspanic College
funny, provocative, uplifting
Carbondale After Dark
from panty raids to riots
Lost in Cyberspace
a collection of H.B.'s writings
About H.B. Koplowitz
Who is this guy anyway?
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Copyright 1997-2021 by H.B. Koplowitz