Lost in Cyberspace
Viagra Online
© 1998 by H.B. Koplowitz

FDA approval of a pill for male impotency has not only given hope to men like Bob Dole, but also to cyber peddlers of lotions, potions, aids and trances that used to be the province of medicine shows and men's magazines. They hope the hype surrounding Viagra will add legitimacy to their linger lotions, herbal elixirs and hypnotism tapes, now re-packaged as natural Viagra alternatives or enhancements. So successful have webmasters been at getting their sites identified with the new drug that many can be found by typing "Viagra" into any search engine.

One of those hopping on the Viagra bandwagon is Ron Malcovitch, CEO of "Amassed Data West" <www.newremedies.com>, "The Premature Ejaculation Specialists." According to a recent ADW press release, "Along with the latest findings of Viagra, the new wonder drug, comes many questions of safety and effectiveness," but there's no safety or effectiveness questions about ADW's "proven solutions" which are "100 percent natural."

Viagra was developed for men who are physically impotent, while ADW's products are "for men who are sexually able, but want to enhance their sexual performance," Malcovitch said in a recent interview. Some of ADW's products have scientific sounding names like Tribestrone and Hormone G Caps, but there's also Indian God Lotion, Man Dip and Wild Rhino, which, happily, is made out of a Japanese root, not rhino horn. For $395, ADW also sells the ErectAid, a contraption not unlike the vacuum cleaner-like device featured in the movie "Austin Powers."

"Viagra has done wonders for my business," Malcovitch said. "More people are discussing sexual problems and coming out about their situation."

Another thing that has done wonders for his business is the Internet. Since going online last year, two-thirds of ADW's sales have come from the low-cost website, letting Malcovitch cut costs on mass mailings and advertising.

"Before, they had to write us for a brochure. Now, the website IS the brochure," he noted. Although his products are mostly for men, he said about 20 percent of his customers are women who might feel uncomfortable entering a "novelty store."

Malcovitch said he was inspired to get into the marital aid business at a fishing tournament in Japan in 1994, when he met a former Japanese doctor who had written an 80-page book on how to overcome premature ejaculation. The three-week regimen includes keeping a diary, studying illustrations of positions and pressure points, and learning to recognize "premonitory messages." Malcovitch had the book translated into English and began selling it through ads in muscle mags. He soon added other products, but still considers The Three Week Program the most effective, calling it "penis boot camp."

In fact, the name of his company comes not from scientific studies but the "amassed data" in the 80-page book, he said. And any medical images conjured by the name "Amassed Data" are quickly dispelled by clicking on any of the website's banner ads. Recent ones led to websites for a London escort service; a dominatrix, Diana the Valkyrie ("A hard man is good to beat"); and a 45-page Directory of Safe-Sex Programs that allegedly lists 125 research projects in the U.S. and Canada that will pay men up to $1,000 a month to have sex.

When asked to what extent his products rely on the placebo effect, Malcovitch was refreshingly frank. "If you don't believe in them, they won't do anything for you," he said. When given the chance to elaborate, he said he didn't mean that his pills and lotions don't have any active ingredients, only that "confidence contributes greatly to performance."

Another website tapping into the Viagra craze is "Hypnovision" <www.hypnovision.com>, which for $89.95 sells ErectionVision, "The world's first Viagra subliminal tape that mentally enhances Viagra and helps put the frustration of impotency behind you... Works for WOMEN too!"

The tape is not new, but HypnoVision says it "altered the subliminal affirmations to enhance your sex life with Viagra." The affirmations, including "dirty words, seductive female voices, moans, groans, sighs, giggles of sexual laughter," are not supposed to be obscene, although for a slightly higher price, "a subliminal & pornographic version is available upon request!"
The subliminal messages are hidden under relaxing new age music so nobody else knows they are being played. In case you miss the point, "NOTE: Any one in listening range will also hear the subliminal stimulation and they will be affected by it too!"

Hypnovision also sells hypnotism tapes to enlarge breasts and male and female sex organs, based on "a secret subliminal chant to trigger mind over body hormones," and "an ancient Hindu and Oriental thought and visualization technique taught to Asian men by their fathers, and mothers to their daughters!"

When asked to comment on his competition, Malcovitch laughed and said, "I see the placebo effect like totally kicking in now." But then he added, "Hey, if someone gets hypnotized and believes he's nine or 10 inches, who should tell him he's not?"
 
 

© 1998 By H.B. Koplowitz, all rights reserved.